In Psychlaw.net’s previous blog post, we discussed several tactics alienating parents use to isolate and alienate the minor child. Today’s Psychlaw.net will focus on badmouthing. Badmouthing can be done with both verbal and nonverbal communications. The alienating parent (AP) manipulates a child into believing that the targeted parent (TP) is unloving, unsafe and unavailable. With sincerity, frequency and intensity, the PA exaggerates existing flaws and manufacture non-existing shortcomings.
BADMOUTHING: Alienating Parent (AP) uses verbal and non-verbal communications that convey to the child that the targeted parent (TP) is unloving, unsafe, and unavailable. Existing flaws are exaggerated, and non-existent flaws are manufactured. Statements are made frequently, intensely, with great sincerity, and unbalanced by anything positive.
LIMITING CONTACT: The AP violates parenting plans and/or takes advantage of ambiguities in the plan to maximize time with the child. The TP has fewer opportunities to counter the badmouthing message, leading to the attenuation of the parent-child relationship. The child acclimates to spending less time with the TP and the court might even reward the AP by instituting the new “status quo” as the permanent schedule.
TELLING THE CHILD THAT THE TP IS DANGEROUS: A particular form of badmouthing, this involves creating the impression in the child that the TP is or has been dangerous. Stories might be told about ways in which the TP has tried to harm the child, about which the child has no memory but will believe to be true nonetheless, especially if the story is told often enough.
TELLING THE CHILD THAT THE TP DOES NOT LOVE HIM OR HER: Another specific form of badmouthing occurs when the AP allows or encourages the child to conclude that the TP does not love him or her. The AP might make statements that conflate the end of the marriage with the end of the parent’s love of the child. (i.e. Mommy left us, or Daddy doesn’t love us anymore). The AP will foster the belief in the child that she is being rejected by the TP and distort every situation to make it appear as if that is the case.
Carefully crafted parenting plans include language prohibiting parents from badmouthing the other in front of the minor child(ren). If a parent violates these provisions, a court may hold that parent in contempt, order a psychological evaluation or mandatory therapy.
If badmouthing continues a court may modify the custody order if it can be shown that the badmouthing is detrimental to the child’s wellbeing.